How can we cultivate the quality of remaining undisturbed by others when their speech/thought/action hurts us?

It is not very easy to come to that platform immediately.

Nonetheless, there are some practical ways of dealing with it.

When others' words hurt us...it's always good to give the other person a benefit of doubt. The benefit of doubt is..not judging the person immediately...

For example..someone's harsh words..immediate reaction can be..this person doesn't like me...he's mean, has no time,..or is arrogant, etc..

But giving the benefit of the doubt implies..this person might be under stress..or undergoing some pain or might have had difficult past conditioning( that's what he/she received all life)

One should not ascribe intentions to what is spoken in tension...

Just as Bharata...when he returned and Ram has already left..Kaushalya spoke many harsh words to Bharata. But he didn't take them seriously knowing her pure nature very well..it was just an outburst of pain.

)..esp if the other person is a devotee or a good friend.

We can try to have a big picture...or a top view.

For ex: when we are stuck in traffic it's difficult to know where the clog is...but for the person seeing it from a high rise tower can see what caused the jam...that's the top view.